Can't get over.

From last month up to now strong winds has whipped me. I am confused, so confused either I am going to hold on or let the wind take me. Terrible mistakes have been made -- to God, family, school, friends and to myself. I just can't move on and get over it. I can't forgive myself for the foolish thing I've made -- as they wanted me to feel. This mistake was bound to take my future away from me. It's all my fault. I cannot do anything about it. I feel so helpless like an imbecile trying so hard but then just made things far more harder.

Everyday at school felt like nightmares. If it is not for my friends, perhaps, I had let the wind take me. Their words of encouragement and affections were the poles I am clinging to. I was just guilty of blinding them of my lies. I am sorry. I thought I deserve you but I was unworthy. But still you stayed by my side and never left me. I am very grateful to God that He blessed me with such great and true friends.

When I am at school some may hear me say "Gusto ko nang umuwi. Uwian na!" And when I got home there's a sudden outburst of going to school. HA! So are you confused too? I am sorry if you feel so. It's really hard dealing with my feelings. As I was saying, when I'm home I feel like crying and crying and crying. I was so thankful that my computer has internet. If not I have no idea if I'd survive the wind. No one would ever talk to me during the fresh days of stupidity. I can't blame them. It's all my fault. Even my future is vague and that made the whole thing worse. I have NO FUTURE at all! How fun is that? Tell me! But at least now there's a speck of hope I see dor my future. I feel more relieved now.

Really, when they were about to take my future (UST) away from me, I became a good daughter. HAHA! Believe me. I am obeying all they were asking me to do. Oh well, looking at reality it is a daughter's task to obey her parents and not a good daughter's. HAHA. Yaan mo na!

As for you dear, thank you for everything. I am still grateful that you loved me. I don't know if I have the guts to believe your words. I am sorry if my world doesn't fit yours. As you said, truth hurts. :) EMOOOOO

You know what? All I wanted to do is to Graduate. To see my cousins have fun time with them maybe somewhere farrrr from where I am right now. To celebrate my birthday. And to enroll in UST.

Landon Carter

Dear readers,

I am apologizing for what you are about to read. I am a moment away from ending A Walk To Remember. This addiction will last long and I mean LOOOOONNGGGGGG... Maybe, FOREVER.

I was so desperately anxious to watch A Walk To Remember. I have the copy of the movie but what was missing is my time. I have no time for the movie! I have my full schedule. But I am sorry to tell you that exams no longer exist and I have my time to conduct movie marathons! Bahaha! Actually, I I was supposed to be finishing the portfolio documentary but the movie tempted me and I could no longer resist. EEP. I will finish that before Friday. :P HAHA! Yes, I need to constantly convince and remind myself. Okay, so I was saying I have watched A Walk To Remember about 38 minutes ago.

I was familiar with the whole story but I was not a witness of it. But now I am! Bahaha! I love the characters. I love the movie! I love Nicholas Sparks! I love Landon Carter -- reminds me of someone. hihihi.

Landon Carter -- my new apple of the eye. After the no ending love drama with Chuck Bass (still he is my love and will ever be). Now here's my new one! Landon Carter! Booyah! I am now and officially in love with him! HAHA. He is way toooo sizzling HOT! Good characterization, BTW, for the movie. Three Cheers! Hoorah! I know, I am totally outdated. Many have been addicted to him before me but you know, it's better late than never. Bahaha! I consder myself lucky that I was able to watch the movie. He is the sweetest fictional guy I've ever known. Edward Cullen, eat dust! Bahaha! From bad boy to Mr. Nice Guy, as in. Beat that! Aww.

Landon Carter:
-bad boy with a pure heart
-has nice taste giving gifts (sweater)
-has good PORMA
-SWEET. :)
-martyr
-one woman guy
-has ONE word

"Our love is like the wind -- you can't see it but you can feel it."

I told you, you have read GAY blog. Bahaha! Oh, well. Thnx, whoever you are.
~03.11.09