From now on

When a Giraffe fall in love with a Hippo!

Melman (Giraffe): No, no that's not it. Listen Mototo you'd better treat thus lady like a queen. Because you, you my friend... have found the perfect woman. If I was ever so lucky to find the perfect woman. I would give her flowers everyday. And not just any flowers, okay? Her favorites are orchids. White. And I would bring her breakfast everyday. Six loaves of wheat bread with butter on both sides. No crusts. Just the way she likes it. I'd be her shoulder to cry on and her best friend. And I'd spent every day thinking of ways to make her laugh. She has the most... amazing laugh. That's what I would do, if I were you. But I'm not, so you do it.

-- From a friend (Madagascar 2)

See you later, Francis M.

Francis Magalona was born on October 4, 1964. Also known as Master rapper, Francis M and the Man from Manila. He was called "Kiko" by his Eat Bulaga Family. He was married to Pia Arroyo and was blessed with eight children namely: Unna, Nicolo, Francis Jr., Elmo, Arkin, Clara, and actresses Maxene and Saab. He is 44 years old and looked very, very young for his age. A very cool and hot-looking person of the showbiz world. He has frequently collaborated with other Pinoy music artists such as Mike Hanopol, Juan dela Cruz band, Andrew E, Michael V, Parokya ni Edgar, Gloc-9 and of course the Eraserheads. He was know for the song Kaleidoscope World and Tayo'y mga Pinoy. It was only last year that he was diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukemia -- is a cancer of the myeloid line of white blood cells, characterized by the rapid proliferation of abnormal cells which accumulate in the bone marrow and interfere with the production of normal blood cells (Wikipedia, n.d.).

~~~

I was heading school when I heard the news that Francis M died. I was shocked. Dead shock. For all I know is he was recovering and having some nice time coping form his illness.

I have read some of his blogs from his Multiply site. It was horrifying -- the tests conducted. Despite of it he looked positive. It appeared to be painful but he still managed to smile. Brave one. I was waiting for the acceptance of my request, perhaps I'll delete it. How will he accept it now? The thought makes me sad.

When I reached school I spilled the news to each of my classmate. Like me, they looked very shocked. They would even tell me that it was a hoax because they have seen the happy opening of Eat Bulaga. It made me think. Was the radio announcer lying? Maybe not. Francis' death was too soon, how can we accept it easily. I am not a huge fan but I feel the lost of another pillar of the industry. Alam kong malulungkot si Ramon Bautista sa nangyare. Okay lang yan.

Perhaps what happened is better -- not to prolong his agony.

We can never invade God's will. NEVER. It is His will, let it be done. Pray for Kiko's soul. He might be somewhere, we don't know. PRAY. PRAY. "Never cease praying." -St. Pio of Pietrelcina.

Every color, every hue is represented by ME and YOU! See ya, Kiko! SUPERPROXY

~03.06.09

Finally

Okay, after the long run of four days and almost five of not talking. We finally talked yesterday. Sort things out and regain what we've lost. Not exactly lost but misplaced. Whew. I wokeup from my beautiful dream. Beautiful, why? Because he is my dream. A beautiful dream that I don't want to escape from. I love dreaming of him. Although I forgot about it when I started opening my eyes (I'm sorry I could not share its beauty with you) I know deep in my heart he is what my mind craves for -- my sweet craving.

There's a little excitement of going to school. At least for the last normal school day in CdSP I have a feeling of excitement as normal students feel. I am not in good shape for anything that morning, though.

I am really excited to go home with Rox and Paul. They'll be spending time wtih me. We're gonna watch Koizora (sky of love), A japanese drama. While I was fixing the table for lunch there was a surprise bwisitor. Bhahaha. Kidding, a surprise visitor, Gene. I was so glad to see him, really. J and I fixed the table for lunch and we ate lunch and had some small talks. Most of them were about Gene -- about his trauma on patis, on his conflict with some friends, etc. They left for Kurl's and we started watching Koizora.

The movie was long. Believe me! We spent almost 3 hours for it. Goodness. But it's worth the time, okrays and effort to stand the heat wave. HAHA. The movie is sweet and kind of typical. I guessed the outcome. Bahahaha!

We went to school for the practice. I don't know but I becamse do tired and bored and anxious to go home. I was not smiling. I laught at some jokes but it was so boring. Mood slides. ARGH.

We went to the chapel for our last choir service. I was in the middle of Rox and Paul and surprisingly, I did my best on singing. I knew in my heart I'm singing well. HAHAHA. I could sing pala. Nyay. After the service we went to Ms. to do the tarditionl "mano" after masses. As sign of respect. I thought of something else and slightly hesitated. Fears. But I know she wouldn't do such things and I mano to her. She held my hands tightly like she did before and I was sort of relieved. From that moment I realized that I'll miss CdSP. I'll miss Ms.'s hands. I'll miss everything connected to that school where I spent my HS life.

I will never forget every detail of that school. Where my spiritaul character bloomed. I was so blessed that its loving hands mold me into something great, I must say. Stop the bleakness, the morbidity. I have had enough ot it. Let's see the sun and dance with it. :)

Goodmorning!

March 19, 2009.

Another torturous day before my 16th birthday. Going to school makes it torturous. I'll miss my PC. HAHA! But as I go through the boring routines I'll remember the prize that awaits me when I go home -- INTERNET.

Good luck to me.

I know I could survive this day but so much time is wasted for nothing.

I'll be waiting. Still waiting.

12 days and counting. :)

Happy Birthday, Michelle!

March 15, 2009. Sunday.

Roxanne greeted me behind my back. I was startled and remembered my hair was still messy after taking bath. I immediately looked for my comb and fixed my hair. She was telling stories of what happened in her life. And so, I was entertained. She told me everything while I was changing clothes and fixing my things. After all the "my personal stuffs" we went down to ask my dad's permission and that lead us to ride the jeep for Rob.

It's my turn to tell my story. I don't want to share it here. It's between the two of us. I am sorry to disappoint you, dear reader. I feel bad about myself that I ate Cream-O and drank C2 as my breakfast. We went to Rob for the pictures. There was this girl in pink that annoyed my day. She has this long, ugly hair. Not to mention her small, pink shirt and shorts that doesn't suit her stout body, which annoyed me more. I just threw the empty C2 bottle and when I came back she occupied my space when I was trying to take it back she doesn't even bother to make a little space for me to give Rox my opinions about the picture. Her annoying hair was touching my forearms. It's is sooo irritation. I could no longer take it and I placed on the other side of Rox. That was one of the many annoying things that made my day crap.

It was too disappointing that we were not able to buy the clear sheets. Expressions in Walter should check their stocks. Service should be their priority. Their employees were insufficient and unreliable, based on my experience.

I was glad that we are going to watch Push! And I have food to ease my longings. When we are finally finding our seats we were surprised to see empty seats and two seats were occupied by a couple seated on the far end of the movie house. I felt afraid and hesitant. But what can we do? We just settled down on the right side of the movie house opposite the couple and arranged our lunch. I was eating when I heard funny noise and Rox said, "Ayan na!" I though ayan na what? When I realized that the noise was from the couple probably making out. Gashh. They were happy with themselves while the two of us were regretting the scenario. I am not comfortable. I just focused on the movie but not letting it eat my whole attention. I also gave some to the couple. They might plan something bad or none at least we are prepared. The movie is terrific, really. With Dakotta Fanning and the guy who played Torche in the movie Fantastic Four. It was amazing. Another sci-fi movie. It's just so unfortuante that few can appreciate it. Apparent from the empty seats. After some time came two men. This made me more uncomfortable. Good thing, Rox decided to find the loading station and we never came back. I was really scared. There might have something bad happened to us. With just 6 people inside the dark, cold room with no ventilationa and no one can hear you scream from the outside. They might hear you but thought you are liking the movie. That's going to be soo unfortunate.

7:10p.m. I asked mom to go with m to Taal. I am so bored here. And I miss Shane and Ate Kaye. I also miss Inang but she is farrr away from me. At least, S and K are attainable. HAHA. But until now (9:02), we are not leaving. :(

No msg from him. :(

Phase lang 'to ng buhay. It will end.

Happy Birthday, Michelle.

Outlet

I'm not a crybaby
I'm THE crybaby
A caterpillar that got stuck
Mr. Moth come quick with any luck
A long walk to a dark house
A Roman candle heart keep us far apart
I've got your body doing alright
Hate me baby, maybe I'm a piece of art

Oh, baby you're a classic
like a little black dress
you're a faded moon
stuck on a little hot mess (little hot mess)
woah, woah
and oh, baby you're a classic
like a little black dress
but you'll be faded soon
stuck on a little hot mess (little hot mess)
woah, woah

I can make your heart slow
I can feel the weather in my bones
Wish hard enough, I can turn it to what I like
Your pupils they're big
They're rolling like dice
they say they only want the best wishes for me
(they only want the best for me)
Oh, 3 2 1
We go live...

Oh, baby you're a classic
like a little black dress
you're a faded moon
stuck on a little hot mess (little hot mess)
woah, woah
and oh, baby you're a classic
like a little black dress
but you'll be faded soon
stuck on a little hot mess (little hot mess)
woah, woah

Not the boy I was
The boy I am is just venting, venting
Dear gravity, you held me down in this starlit city
(x2)

they say they only want the best wishes for me
(they only want the best for me)
Oh, 3 2 1
We go live...

Oh, baby you're a classic
like a little black dress
you're a faded moon
stuck on a little hot mess (little hot mess)
woah, woah
and oh, baby you're a classic
like a little black dress
but you'll be faded soon
stuck on a little hot mess (little hot mess)
woah, woah
woah

~I love FOB's passion.

This is

I have figured some things from the past days I am thinking things over my head. Here are some of them:

1. God's will be done.

I don't want to decide for myself but let God decide for me. I am not a good decision maker, you know.

2. Truth hurts.

Oh the truth hurts
A lie’s worse
I can’t like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before.

I told you it will fade. "Sa ngayon hindi pero ayokong magsalita ng tapos." Don't encourage me of your "Di ako magaalter" you're just making it harder for both of us. You won't make me believe in a blink of an eye after those words hit me.

3. Thinking too much can be a bad habit.

There are a lot of things running in my mind. "Pagod na nga sila eh. HAHA." Ako man pagod na. Replaying all that had happened -- happy, sad, regretful, etc. Wishing that tme go faster. Regreting some of them have to occur. I got morbid, bleak, wrecked. I don't what else to write here. Everything's a blur. Whenever I thought of something fun and good there's just something that blocks it. I hate it. I thought too much. Too much that I can't end something that I have started.

We shouldn't think too much. You would just end up fooled by your own thoughts. Instead think of happy thoughts. But...would that make a lot bleaker? EEP. Okay, as for this number there's not conclusion, yet.

4. I could use some help from my friends.

I am going through a hard time right now. I realized after Roxanne went here and spent almost the whole day with me that I could survive this when I have my friends with me. Them keeping me busy. I can share feelings, thoughts and time, which could make things a pretty lighter. I need them, badly, now. Make me busy with FUN things not with the boring ones. OR lend me your ears for the most EMO-ish thoughts. HAHA.

5. Music, movies, books and tv series are my outlets.

They are my inspirations. Can relate to most of them.

Mooreeee.